I’m a 22 year old female. I’m introverted, I had one boyfriend who cheated on me 8 months ago and since then found it incredibly difficult to socialize. Not that many people made an effort. I’m simple, I don’t have social media, I have a few friends but they don’t really speak to me much. I’m average looking. Pretty insecure since my breakup. Im in college and on weekends work a 12 hour shift at a fast food restaurant to make ends meet.
I dont know I felt really lonely, so I knew of a guy who works with me who told me his friend is doing sex work. I found him on Facebook and he told me how much he charged. Also asked me a bunch of questions about my sexual health. I never planned on sleeping with him I just didn’t want him to find me weird.
Anyway we met at a hotel, I told him I didn’t want to have sex I just wanted to be held and given words of affirmation and care. He agreed and I paid him. I gave him flashcards. They all said things like im proud of you, you’re doing so well, you’re strong, did you eat, are you okay, I know you can do it, etc etc. And he just held me until our hours was up and then I bolted and I feel so ashamed and had to tell someone. But I don’t speak to anyone so here I am.
Edit: thank you all for the kindest words and making me feel better and less ashamed. Yes, thats me immediately upvoting. I’m not good with words, so please know I appreciate it more than you know. Thank you so much.