Hi all, I hope this will be ok rules wise as it’s not really a question or anything but more an update to my previous post which some people commented and gave their insight.
So we got together earlier this month to have some dinner and just chat. It was a very comfortable evening where we finally just focused on each other and no one was in a hurry to go elsewhere so we could just air everything out. As you can probably see we didn’t get back together but decided it was time to move on and that nothing will happen again.
She was very open and honest with me about how I felt and gave her every reason not to pursue anything romantic. Essentially she told me that she is now fully focused on her work and the children and that she would not have enough time to give me everything I need to be happy with her. She mentioned how over the last few years as a mother she has felt very fulfilled and finally happy because Covid has forced her to just work and stay at home with the kids and she found that she really enjoyed that – more Spending time with them and that she doesn’t want to lose that feeling or connection with them again. She said she doesn’t want to go back to her old life and be a « wife » or be happy in all aspects of her life, as long as her children are happy that’s all she needs. She told me that she still has feelings for me and that she loves me with such a passion, but that I broke her heart and it made her see things in a different light. She also mentioned that if she got in touch with me she would know herself that she couldn’t control herself and spend too much time away from her children.
So she suggested we stay friends because that’s what she really wants, she wants to see me keep growing and be happy with someone my age instead.
I felt like she was very polite in everything she told me, but it was essentially a nice way of saying that she’s moved on and doesn’t want me in her life like that anymore since all these Things I listed that I thought were just excuses. It was never a problem when we were together before, we always planned our relationship around her kids and they were always the priority, I even picked her up from school sometimes and stayed with them until she came back from work , we made it work. But once you lose that love and passion for someone, none of it matters and I accept that, I can’t blame her for that.
Although she said that she would like to continue being friends and keep in touch as much as possible, she has only reached out once in the 3 weeks since we saw each other. I didn’t just get involved to see where she stands with me and it’s obvious where we are. I don’t know if we will continue to be friends, things are looking very bleak indeed at the moment.
I’ve accepted everything and I’m trying to keep going, having some good days and some days when they’re not so good. I think about her every day and I think it might be the case that I think about her for a very long time as our relationship and friendship lasted many years before it fell apart. We had a very special bond and connection, shared so many intense and wonderful memories – it gave me meaning in life. I love her!
In summary, it’s been a crazy experience in a good way, even though I’m injured. I’ve matured in the time I’ve spent with her and learned so much about life, it was the first time I felt what love is, it’s an amazing feeling! I’ll try to focus on myself this year and mentally get back on track. I also just wanted to say hello to everyone here, I love coming here and reading everyone’s stories every few weeks.
Sorry for the long incoherent talk!